The Power of One: How One Attitude, One Action and One Person Can Change the World

Speaker 1 (00:00:00):

Please welcome to the stage John O'Leary, national best-selling author and speaker.

John O'Leary (00:00:17):

Whoo. When you get burned as a nine-year-old boy, growing up in the Midwest, on 100% of your body, your dream in life is not one day to become a motivational speaker. You dream, believe it or not, this is going to surprise you, it's not even to stand on this stage in front of this audience. Your dream in life, my friends, is to be normal. So as I spent all this time in hospital, and as I had the opportunity of having my fingers eventually amputated, and as I eventually, five and a half months after this thing began, went home from hospital, I felt different than everybody else. And the goal in life, at that point, was not to stand out or to shine, it was to fade. It was to, one day, if I'm really lucky, be ordinary. So that was my goal as a nine-year-old, and as a ten-year-old and, as an 11, I won't go all the way through.

(00:01:19):

And it started to change in my late twenties. I was in the back row, essentially, of a leadership session. It was up in a local church, and I'm in the very, very, very back row, I see you back there. And like some of you, I had my arms crossed, because I'm bored. At 28 years of age, I'm bored already by life. So I'm in the back row of this service, and the leader in charge, with the microphone right here where mine is, said something to me that changed my life. That got me to uncross my arms. What he said was this, "John," it was probably 500 people, but I think he spoke right to me. "Your life is a precious, priceless gift." And then he added, "Say yes to being used for good." I didn't know what it meant, I just knew it meant something good. So I wrote down those words that night. Two days later, I'm working construction. Can you think of a worst job for a guy that doesn't have fingers, being real about it, man, than carpentry?

(00:02:30):

And I think looking back on my life, and some of you can relate with this one, I was trying to prove to a world that wasn't even watching that I was worthy. So that's what I'm trying to do. My phone rings, I reach in, I flip the thing open. So it's been a minute. I'm no longer 28. And I said the word hello and a little voice said back, "Mr. O'Leary, would you speak at my school?" And I had never spoken at any school, in front of any group of any size. I'd never told the guys I was working construction with, what happened to me when I was a kid. Why would you talk about the challenge? Why would you talk about brokenness? Why would you talk about scars? So I never did. But on the heels of being reminded that I had a message that was worthy of saying yes to, do you think I said yes or no to the little group? Yes or no? Hey, I didn't hear everybody. If you don't vote, you can't complain. Yes or no?

Audience (00:02:30):

Yes.

John O'Leary (00:03:28):

Yes, man. So I said yes, hung up the phone, immediately regretted it. It was a seven-minute lecture. I practiced that seven-minute talk for more than 40 hours. Okay? That's over prep. Walk into this room. I stood behind a podium, never once looked up at little monsters, and at the end of my keynote, that's when I finally looked up and that's when I saw the audience. Not 1600 leaders changing the world for good, but a grand total of three third-grade Girl Scouts. I was not even paid a box of samosas for my effort. So this was not wealth enhancing.

(00:04:19):

But you don't change the world because it's wealth enhancing, you do it because it's the right thing to do. It's the only call in life ultimately to change the world for good. So I said yes to that little group. I did not do a great job. Walked out of that room a failure. My life had been kind of guiding me toward this, a failure. And as I'm making my way back outside to my truck, a [inaudible 00:04:40] father pulled me aside and said, "John, that was awesome. Would you speak at my Rotary Club?" I'd never heard of Rotary, but I knew the answer when you're asked to serve, yes or no?

Audience (00:04:51):

Yes.

John O'Leary (00:04:53):

Come on. So I said, yeah, I'll go. One of those ladies in that group was a Kiwanis member. Never heard of Kiwanis. But I knew what to say when someone says, "Will you serve?" Yes or no?

Audience (00:05:08):

Yes.

John O'Leary (00:05:08):

One of those ladies ran a chamber of commerce. At that meeting, I met a gentleman whose family member ran the penal system for the state of Kansas. And an undeserving, unworthy, insecure kid just kept saying, yes. I have had had the honor now of saying yes 2,600 times in 50 states, in front of millions of people. If you're like, "Dude, what do you talk about?" Here it is. Ready? In a nutshell. Your life is a precious, priceless gift. Say yes to being used for good. That's it. So today we're going to be celebrating, not my work, but yours, not my life or my family or my impact, but yours, not my past, but yours, and not my awesome future, because it's going to be awesome, but yours.

(00:06:12):

So I'm going to invite you over the next hour or so that we get to party together, to just look in the mirror with me. Okay? When we struggle, not if. All right? When we struggle. And when we choose to give our power to that circumstance, whether it's society or past or scars on the outside or the inside, when we choose to give our power up easy, I find there are three questions we ask when we live in the never. Question number one that I ask on my bad days, and maybe on yours you do too. Ugh, "Why me?" Some of you have already checked into your flights, and they're delayed out of New Orleans. And this is what you asked.

[NEW_PARAGRAPH]"Why me? Why me?" When we ask that question, rather than giving thanks for the gift of our life and the agency to do more with it, what I do, and again, maybe you on your bad days, is I ask the second question, "Who cares?" Which makes me look down, cross my arms, kick the dirt, make another excuse, when I ask the third and the final question, "What more can I do? I'm too old. I'm too young. I'm too rich, I'm too poor. I have too many scars. I have too few scars. I have too big of a network. I have no network. What more can I do?" My friends today as we celebrate the mighty impact that is our lives, I want to give you three far better questions to ask. I know we were up late last night, we got up early this morning, it's been a party the entire time, so some of us are tired. Take a big swig of coffee. Let's get ready to finish strong together.

(00:08:04):

First question, when the sun rises in the east, it's my favorite part of the day. It's when light cuts through the darkness. That is an awesome part of the day. Don't miss it. The question I asked today, and hopefully you did as well. "Whoa, why me, man?" Eyes to see, ears that here, hearts that beat free, opportunity to identify what is busted and broken, and it is everywhere. But also the opportunity to make it better for ourselves and those we love. Why me? That allows us to rise, to pull back our shoulders, to go to work, to make an impact, to uncross those arms, lift up our spirits a little bit. Ask the second question, which is, "Who cares?" This one's around mission and meaning, value, impact, and it leads to you and me asking the final question at the end of a long day. Anybody in this room want to guess what the third and final question is? It's on the screen in 89... I know what's up there. Just read the words on the bottom of it, please.

Audience (00:09:19):

"What more can I do?"

John O'Leary (00:09:19):

"What more can I do?" To make tomorrow better than today at my work? Some of us run small businesses, others are part of massive organizations where you can make change. What more can I do to make tomorrow even better than today? It turns out, class, that the manner in which you choose to ask a question will influence what you see and how you feel, what you think, what you dream about, what you let go of, what you fight for or pray for, the words you speak, the tone you use, the results you get. So if you are the kind of leader, and I would imagine you are if you're in the room, who cares deeply about results, I don't know how to get us there, other than going all the way up to the tippity-top of the stream to the one thing you can control. It starts right about here. So the focus during this session is really about your perspective, harnessing that, to use your one life for good. You ready to go? Yes or no?

Audience (00:10:23):

Yes.

John O'Leary (00:10:24):

Let's go. Let's go. Question number one, class. What's the first question?

Audience (00:10:29):

Why me?

John O'Leary (00:10:31):

Why me? Why me? Do you believe gratitude matters? Yes or no?

Audience (00:10:34):

Yes.

John O'Leary (00:10:36):

Let's see if you're right. I'm going to show you a tiny bit of research. Try not to bore you all back to sleep. But when you choose gratitude, and again, you don't have to. You can read the papers and watch the news and be beat down by life like everybody else, or you can look east, count your blessings, and then go to work. And if you do the second part, you become more optimistic, more kind, less self-centered. These are leadership capabilities, competencies that change your work and your life, but it also lowers your blood pressure, increases your energy. According to the University of Minnesota... Anybody from Minnesota in the house? I figured we have a few Minnesota folks. According to the University of Minnesota, it's called the NUN study. Up to eight more years, not just of life, the word they used, up to eight more years of abundant life. Up to eight more years of abundant life.

(00:11:34):

But it does more. It gives you a better marriage, a better partnership, lifelong friendships, for the single people in the house. Gratitude makes you more attractive. I guess you start taking notes. Gratitude makes you even more attractive. Increased confidence, likelier promotion, better productivity and results, more than stuff because stuff fades in time. Trophies rust in time. It's who you become. It's the sense of showing up with joy. And so I'm about to share with you a pretty powerful story of joy. And on the front side of this, don't confuse joy with happiness. This is hard, it's rugged. Angela would like the term, grit. It requires an awful lot of grit to get there, but it's worthy. So let's roll into it. Looking back at your own life, have you ever done anything that you now realize was a big mistake?

Audience (00:12:37):

Yes.

John O'Leary (00:12:37):

Okay, one lady, 11 rows back, and no one else is guilty. Let me be more specific. Looking back at last night in New Orleans, okay? With a hurricane in your right hand... Dude, all the time, man. All the time. None of us are perfect. That ought to humble us, but it also should keep our heart open to the people in front of us, however they look or act or worship or lead. It ought to keep us very humble to love others as they are where they are. When I was nine, I grew up on the Mississippi River, 10 and a half hours from where we're gathered. Way up in St. Louis, Missouri. I know I have some St. Louis, Missouri friends here. We brought about half the room, people, so you're welcome. When I was a kid though, I saw boys in my neighborhood playing with fire and gasoline. And what these boys would do is they would sprinkle gasoline, strike a match, stand back two feet for safety, throw the match on top and the liquid would dance.

(00:13:46):

And when you're nine, this is awesome. These are guys you look up to. They're practically men. Okay? They're 11. And you figure if they can do it and get away with it. What's the next sentence? I can too. Beautiful language when you have the right leader in front. The end of the story, when you follow the wrong leader. Whose voice you tune into impacts your life profoundly. Be aware of that leaders, and be aware of this one as well. When you walk into a room, people are looking up to you. Give them something worthy of being imitated in a marketplace that rarely will be different on purpose. That weekend, man, I had the wrong leaders in front of me, 11-year-old little kids, I followed them off the edge. My parents are at work, the house is mine. I walk into the garage, bend over a can of gasoline, five gallons. Try to pour a little bit of gasoline on top of this flame. And before the liquid comes out, what came out first?

(00:14:53):

Yes, fumes. The invisible stuff. In life and in leadership and in finance and in relationship and in health and in injustice and in just about anything that matters. It's almost never what you see coming that burns. It's not the liquid, it's not what everybody's yelling about, it's what we don't have the courage to call out or the wisdom to identify. It's very difficult to do by ourselves. But collectively, once we identify what the fumes are, we can harness them for good. You're observing this today. Once you identify what the fumes are, now we can actually utilize them for good. This is big good news. That day those fumes came rushing out of that can created this massive explosion. Picked up the child and launched him 20 feet against the far side of the garage. When we were young people, we were taught what to do when we're on fire. What are we supposed to do, class?

Audience (00:15:57):

Stop, drop and roll.

John O'Leary (00:15:58):

Say it one more time like I'm mad at you.

Audience (00:16:00):

Stop, drop and roll.

John O'Leary (00:16:03):

What do you actually do when you're on fire, class?

Audience (00:16:08):

[inaudible 00:16:08]

John O'Leary (00:16:08):

Why are those different answers, class? And for the cynics in the room. Even here, there are some cynics. "Why does any of this matter to me?" Because we're not talking about fire safety. We're talking leadership 101, baby. We train up here. Take notes. You need it for DEI, you need it for sales, whatever it is, up here. But we live and we serve and we transform and we heal, and we make a difference through our love from a far more sacred source. It's not just this, this is part of it, but it's always got to be tethered down. Our job, ultimately, is to bring the two together as one. Separate is not equal. That day, for me, all training was head knowledge. I got nervous, I freaked out. I ran. I ran for my life. One moment, I'm perfectly happy and healthy. I zoomed in for the folks in the far back. It's okay to nod your head. Extremely good-looking. Okay. Bangs like that.

(00:17:22):

That is either a laser level or what else might it be? A bowl. I heard it over here, a bowl. And that little white thing below his chin, what's that called? It's not a turtleneck, it is a freaking dicky. Okay. Right about there. Freaking dicky. Some of you don't know what a freaking dicky is. Okay? Don't Google it right now. Don't be checking on... It is the top part of the turtleneck. Some scars don't heal. Your mama made you wear it. But my friends, my life was awesome. I had siblings all over the place. We had animals. We grew up in the Midwest. Safe community. My parents were employed. Life was perfect. And the challenge with perfect is it changes. The challenge with good is it changes. The challenge with life is it changes. And then what?

(00:18:24):

So the next picture will be hard to look at. You may want to shut your eyes just for a moment. There's going to be three hard ones today. But here comes the first. I found myself on my back with burns on 100% of my body. 87%, third degree. I'm laying there, I'm dying. The bright light is coming down on me, not quite as bright as the ones Michael got up here on the ceiling. But man, it's coming down. You know when it's the end. So I had one thought going through my mind, on echo chamber repeat. And as a little boy, that thought was, "Oh my gosh, my dad is what?

Audience (00:19:14):

[inaudible 00:19:14]

John O'Leary (00:19:13):

Y'all read the book already, man. Good for you. You don't need to. You read that chapter through your life. How many of you had a disciplinarian growing up? 16 of 1600 have their hands up right now. Here's the truth. And some of you don't want to hear this, but here it comes. The reality is you can do very little by yourself, but collectively. This is why we should dance to the airport tonight. Collectively we can change the world for good. Think of the power in this room. Imagine what this room could do. One of the mountain movers for me went by the name dad. He's a small business owner, he's a veteran. He's type A. You may know somebody like this. I hear his voice on the hall yelling at some nurse, "Where is my boy John?"

(00:20:12):

And this nurse does me no favors. He brings him back into the room. When he should have called security. Pulls back the curtain. My father marches in, points down and says these words, "John, look at me when I'm talking to you." So I look up and then he goes, "I have never, I've never been so proud of anyone in my entire life, and my little buddy, today, this morning, I'm just proud to be your dad." And then he adds, "I love you and there is nothing you can do about it." And as a nine-year-old, I hear this. So I shut my eyes, I cross my arms and I remember thinking, "Oh my gosh, nobody told my dad what happened. Maybe I can get away with it." You ever been there? You bunch of liars, man. Hey, we need truth right now. Yes or no. Have you been there?

Audience (00:20:12):

Yes.

John O'Leary (00:21:28):

Yes, me too. And then you get found out. And then what? My dad showed up with love. He showed up with mercy. He showed up with grace. It changed me. It did not make easy the next five and a half months, but I think it made the foundation firm from which we could build. This is part of our role, now, part of our life, part of leadership going forward. Also, humility. My dad recognized he can't fix this thing, but we can. So he started leaning into the people around him in life. He started leaning into the team. That's my sweet mom and dad up there right now. In 1987, the first person they turned to for help was the physician. A guy named [inaudible 00:22:14] He was born in Lebanon, came over to the United States to practice medicine. Was the most humble man I've still ever met. Although he was chief of staff, he made his entire life about those around him. Leadership 101, and again, he made his entire life about everybody else.

(00:22:33):

What I remember most about this person, is as a little boy, I would lay in this hospital bed. They had me like this in the hospital bed, tied down. And every morning early, the doctor would walk in and then behind him was a train load of people. And the first person behind the physician, the leader, was the custodial staff member. His name was Lavelle. Lavelle would walk into this room, shoulder slumped a little bit, head bowed a little bit. The doctor would make him sit on my bed. And then he would say this, "Lavelle, you see this little boy, you are keeping him alive." And then he would say these words, I don't think we hear enough in society. "Thank you. Man, you are keeping him alive, man. Thank you." With burn care, what's the number one killer of burn victims?

Audience (00:23:29):

Infection.

John O'Leary (00:23:30):

Infection. Doctors don't fix that one. CEOs don't fix that one. In quotes, finger quotes, right now, the "least" among us is by far the most important among us. It's a we thing. It's we. And the physician, the leader, the chief of staff, understood that. He would remind everybody on the team of the value of their life. What a game-changer that is when we do it well. The physical therapist, PTs, OTs, speech therapists, chaplains, social workers, dietary folks, the entire team rolls through every morning, including our frontline folks, the nurses, CNAs, RNs. One of our nurses looked less like those four and more like this one. He came to work fully dressed every day, so he'd cruise on in. We recently lost this gentleman, Carl Weathers was his real name.

(00:24:24):

I had a nurse who looked just like him. His real name was Roy. The staff all called him Big Roy. Big Roy would walk into my room every single morning. Remember he'd been inspired to do more through his work. So every morning this gentleman would come in, he would unhook my left arm, my right arm, my left leg and my right leg. He would sweep me up like this and get me on my feet. It's not his job. He would drag me back toward the bandage change. He wanted to give me the sense of walking. My little legs dangled between his as he brought me on back. And he would whisper into my right ear, "Boy, you are going to walk again. You might as well get used to it. Move those legs because today you walk." And then he would add, "And I'll walk with you."

(00:25:30):

First time I heard Roy say that, I hated him. Because my friends, I've seen my legs. I'm never going to walk again. I know that about me and my life. And Roy knows something very different about me and my life, because the following day I'm hanging out, having a pity party. Have you ever had one? And then all of a sudden, sunshine comes into my pity party in the form of nurse Roy. Unhooks my left arm, my right arm, left leg, right leg, swoops me up and says these words, "Today." Leaders, don't listen through the lens of fear. Listen to his voice through the lens of possibility.

(00:26:15):

Listen, "Boy, you are going to walk again. You might as well get used to it. Move those legs. Today you walk and I'll walk with you." It's not hate speech, it's a love song. It's an absolute love song that this man sang over me for five and a half months. He never saw me walk again. But I think part of the reason I'm on the stage walking and dancing and singing with you today is because of his vision for my life. To understand what he was envisioning, you also have to understand the difficulties he was up against. So there's going to be two pictures that are going to drop on the screen in a moment. Again, you may want to shut your eyes, and then we're done with the hard stuff for the day. But this is what he faces. At the end of the walk, he picks me up and submerges me into a stainless steel tub.

(00:27:16):

And then 11 of his colleagues come around that tub and they begin the bandage change. One more hard picture, here it comes. It takes them 45 minutes to clean the body. They call it debridement. They raise that little guy up, they set him on a side table, they dry him off. Remedicated. Two hours after the thing began, they carry me back into my bedroom. And when they leave my room, my friends, they go from bedroom 404 into 405. And the older patients don't want to go. So they go kicking and screaming. And then they go from 405 to 406, and 406 into 407. They go home exhausted. And unbelievably they come back the following day. You can't pay people enough to do it. But mission, purpose, vision, possibility, that their belief that their work mattered and their belief that miracle still happened. Do you believe miracles still happen? Yes or no?

Audience (00:28:16):

Yes.

John O'Leary (00:28:17):

Here's photographic evidence. It's coming up on the screen. This is known as the greatest sales job of my entire life. Okay. Don't clap too loud. Her name is Elizabeth Grace. She, like my other colleagues in the hospital, she just has a heart for possibility. I had no idea, anything about my future spouse as a child, but I knew if I ever did find love, that that person would be blind to scars and would only look for beauty, and then the ways in life to magnify that beauty for others. My wife works with kids who have special needs. She's an amazing advocate for them, and she's a role model for me. So that's my wife, Beth.

(00:29:09):

And then the night she and I said the words I do and then partied afterwards. We had a big old wedding, man, not quite this size big, but not far from it. We had almost 400 people. And of that 400 people, we also had three tables of healthcare providers, individuals who showed up and served and impacted. Even the leader of the organization, his name was [inaudible 00:29:40] pictured up there shaking my hand. He was apologizing there because a moment earlier, he had taken my new wife onto the dance floor. Great example of leadership and love. Also, a great example of someone who woke up every morning and asked a simple question.

(00:29:57):

Dr [inaudible 00:29:59] was burned as a child, and he recognized I'm either going to be belittled and beat down by these scars for the rest of my life, or I will learn the lessons that this experience is teaching me, and do better things to impact other communities. What a worthy question for him to ask for me and others. And what a beautiful question for you and I to ask and answer right now. Why me? We are anointed for this day. We're gifted with this day. So rather than just asking it, I'm going to give you a moment to answer it. Today, May 9th, 2024, 114 degrees and humid outside in New Orleans, in this beautiful air-conditioned venue, what are you grateful for? I'm just going to give you 21 seconds of something you never get. Silence.

(00:31:15):

Hot coffee. Cold beer. Pair of jeans that fit just right. Sobriety. A loved one's hand. The sound of my grandpa's voice. A child's laugh. Unconditional love of a puppy dog. Work that actually matters. What are you grateful for? What a cool way to start your day, being here, I think I heard over here. Being here. What a great place to work. All right, let's move on. We begin each day with these questions now, starts with looking east, watching that sunrise and saying, "Whoa, why me?" And now we go to work. We do what needs to get done next. We cast a vision and then we boldly step toward it together. Together. This little boy, you've seen his photo up there already on the screen, you're about to see him again. What that smile does a phenomenal job of masking is the struggles he faces. I remember in 1987 when my mother took this picture, she looked at me and she said, "Baby, smile. Say cheese and don't blink. Because we're down to one piece of film left on this camera and we will find out in 13 weeks if you blinked or not."

(00:32:42):

Dude, I pulled it off, man. Smiles on. Eyes are open. Life is good. Camera gets set down. And the frown returns. Because what I know back then as a child is my future is cut short. I will never get a job. I will never go to school. I will never find love. That has all been stolen from me. My question was why me and who cares? But it was asked the wrong way. It was from a position of never, never, ever. And my beautiful mom who, if I talk about her longer than this, I'm going to lose it. She's awesome still. Now she takes care of my dad. She's his caregiver. He's got Parkinson's Disease, has had it for 34 years. She's awesome. She's awesome for him. She was phenomenal for me as a little boy. My mother made a phone call that changed my life. She called a piano teacher. Go ahead and look up at the screen. The teacher comes into our house and I realize immediately she's not there for me.

(00:33:48):

So my mother walks back with this teacher and I look up and I say, "Mama, why is she here?" And I want you all to remember, maybe even write down how she responded. Here's what she said, word for word. Not a word. Talk is cheap. Talk is cheap. When what is required way back then in the 80s, as it is in 2024 and always, is humble, bold, faithful, audacious action. Go. Let's make a difference. Let's change the world together. But we got to move. We got to move forward. My mother doesn't waste her breath on me. I would have never listened. Instead, she bends down, unhooks the brakes in my wheelchair. We could spend two hours on that one. Limiting beliefs. Who doesn't have those? Rolls me away from that. Takes me down a hallway, locks the brakes. She walks out, a teacher walks in, she puts her arm around me and says, "John, honey, this is going to be really, really, really hard. Welcome to life."

(00:35:04):

And then she adds, "and we can do it together." And with that, she grabs a little pen out of her purse. A Great Place To Work pen. She puts it on top of my right hand, this fingerless useless thing that will never do anything. Just ask me. She puts it right on top. And as I'm about to shake this thing loose and validate what I know, she grabs three rubber bands, tethers the pen to my hand. My left arm is up in an airplane splint. I'm on a morphine drip, I'm in a wheelchair. But my friends, I'm playing the piano. The entire time thinking "I hate my mom. First the Dicky and now piano with a pen. What's wrong with her?" And the only time I hated my mother more than that Tuesday afternoon was on Wednesday when the teacher came back and on Thursday and on Friday and on Monday, for five, what's the next word?

Audience (00:36:16):

Years.

John O'Leary (00:36:17):

Years. I think many of us in this room want change now. We want it yesterday. It's not going to be fast, but it's going to be worthy. And it takes progression starting now. Not talk. It takes movement. My mother had the audacity not to speak, but to move. She changed my life. And so what I want to do for you right now is to have you think about someone who changed yours. One person in your organization, in your family, a pastor, a rabbi, a teacher, a sibling, a parent, a son, a daughter, maybe someone you're seated next to. One person who inspires, present tense, you to become the best version of yourself. You got a name? Yes or no?

Audience (00:37:11):

Yes.

John O'Leary (00:37:12):

Some say no, most say yes. You'll need one. Because there's going to be a group activity here in a moment. All right. First time John O'Leary ever played, the piano live was not for a group of three girl Scouts. It was not for a Rotary Club. It was not for a group of prisoners. First time I ever played live was in Las Vegas. Besides my AV friends in the back, anybody from Vegas in the house? We got a couple, we got a couple. A medium planner had said, "John, I heard you play the piano. Will you play for my family?" And what you are about to experience yourself in this room is O'Leary does play the piano, but he hits the wrong keys all the time. So everything about me said, "John, tell her no." But I learned years ago the answer to serve is yes or no?

Audience (00:38:07):

Yes.

John O'Leary (00:38:07):

So I said, "Yes ma'am, I do. What song would you like to hear?" And she goes, "I want my family to hear your mother's favorite song." So that day in front of 27,000 people, an introverted, insecure, still guy sat down and played his mother's favorite song. There happens to be a piano over here. Today, I'm going to entertain you, not with my mother's favorite song, but I think I'm going to play my daughter's favorite song. Her name is Grace, she's blonde, she's blue-eyed, and if she wants a unicorn, I'll buy it for her. She's got me totally wrapped. And so every night when I'm home, she plays the left hand of the song and I play the right hand of the song. And she inspires me. She's one of the people that I would be thinking about right now of a person who inspires me to become the best version of myself. So while I walk over here and play her favorite song. It's by a group called U2.

(00:39:13):

And it's a song ultimately called With or Without You. I want you to think about that person, but not just think about her, I want you to text him. I want you to text them. I want you to break through the walls of this beautiful space and tell one person in your life that you love them and that there's nothing they can do about it. And then tell them why. And here's the deal. I know there's 1600 people and many people will just wait for the piano song to be over so we can get on with it. I beg you to do this for the person you're sending that text to. This isn't about you, leadership isn't about you. This is about making a difference for somebody else. This is about reminding them of the value of their life. You're going to have 91 seconds while Bono plays in the background. My encouragement to you, as I walk over here, lower expectations for the piano. Start texting.

[NEW_PARAGRAPH]All right. Sit down. We're not done. Have a seat. That teacher, teachers, wasn't teaching me the piano. She was teaching me to never say no to possibility. Never say no to possibility. So we have two little ways we're going to stay in touch. Hopefully you hit send on your text. And if you did, you probably got the little bubbles coming back. "What's wrong? What you do?" So that's one text you just sent out. What a gift you gave someone else. Now you're going to give me one. This is how you and I stay in touch. So if you want to stay in touch and connected and do life together, awesome, I hope you do, text me your email address. And then on Monday morning next week I get to show up and give you love. We call it Monday morning Motivation. It goes out to my friends.

(00:44:36):

There's no cost, I'm not trying to sell you anything. If you want to join us, come on. 314-626-4421. Text me your email or the email of someone you don't care for. I don't care, man. I'll take it. Hit send and be done. You'll get an immediate response. Those numbers eventually go to me. So will the emails when you hit reply. I'll invite you into, what we call, Live Inspire Together. We meet monthly just to talk about life. And my favorite thing about this program that you've just said yes to is if you ever need a thing, I'm in. I view our work collectively about scaling change one life at a time.

(00:45:33):

And so if I can show up with and for you, in any case, you got my number, you'll get my emails and you already have the answer, yes. So when you read about a little boy got burned, a family that's struggling with cancer, a difficult thing going on after a storm, a child just struggling with the loss of a parent, or the lack of a network, or they don't belong yet. We're here to serve together. I'm all in. So you got my number, use it. Use it. It's going to lead us to our third and final question. First one was, why me. Second one was, who cares. Anybody want to guess what the third one is?

Audience (00:46:10):

What more can I do?

John O'Leary (00:46:12):

Say it like it matters.

Audience (00:46:13):

What more can I do?

John O'Leary (00:46:16):

What more can I do to make tomorrow better? So, final story, and then we're going to get you out of here. Then Michael's going to come up with a cane and pull me off the stage. A little boy named John got burned on a Saturday. And Saturday night, I find myself strapped down like this in darkness. I can't do anything. My eyes are swollen shut, my hands and legs are tied down to the bed. I'm on a trachea, which means I can't eat or drink by myself, but I also can't communicate. I'm cut off from the world. But I could dream, I could hope, I could pray, I could set goals, and I could listen. Have you ever noticed how much more you hear when your eyes are shut?

(00:47:01):

Some of you have been listening beautifully the entire day. Good for you. You are taking this in. When your eyes are shut, you hear. And growing up in the Midwest, where I grew up, where I was raised, back in the 80s, when I was a little one, what we used to love to do in the summertime was observe baseball. And the way we watched baseball was not with our eyes, it was on the radio. We had a bigger than life broadcaster. His name was Jack Buck. I never met Jack Buck. There's three people in the room who just clapped. Maybe they did meet Jack Buck. You can ask them if he was cool or not. I never met him, but I loved him. He was the voice that tucked me in every summer night. I loved him. And then I got burned. And then I find myself dying. By myself, cut off from the world.

(00:47:58):

And then the door opens up. The door opens up. Set of footsteps walk in. A chair comes across the floor. And then through the darkness comes light, when I hear the voice of a radio announcer, in my room, say, "Kid, wake up. You are going to live. Keep fighting. John O'Leary Day at the ballpark will make it all worthwhile. See you soon." And then he leaves. That's my one interaction with Jack Buck. I learned afterwards, he made his way down a hallway, leaned his head against the glass door and just started weeping. Which of course we all know as leaders is the sign of great weakness. Yes? If you're crying at every team meeting, maybe. But on occasion, fellow human beings, to show some emotion is not weakness, it is strength embodied. The gentleman you just saw a moment ago, Purple Heart recipient. He's a tough guy who wept easy, all the time, because his heart broke easy for others.

(00:49:24):

What a gift that is to have your heart break for others. Jack learns that the little boy that day is going to die. Just a fact. That's what the team tells him. And when you hear that in your life, that there's nothing you can do about it, man, there's always been this division, there's always been this and that, and that's the way it is. Welcome to life. When you hear that there's no chance, what you choose, underline it, to do next will influence what happens next. What Mr. Buck does is he takes it home, he cries, he prays, he journals on one question of action, what more can I do to make tomorrow better than today? The following day, there's a little fellow named John hanging out on a burn center bed, and then the door opens up. One leader walks in, great place to work.

(00:50:18):

All it takes is one. One person walks in, sits in a chair, pulls it up close, and then I hear the voice, "Kid, wake up." It's not a great sentence. If anyone wants to get that tattooed on your right bicep in New Orleans, I'm going with you. Okay? "Kid, wake up." Don't confuse being out of bed with being alert and engaged. "Kid, wake up, you are going to live. Keep fighting. John O'Leary Day at the ballpark will make it all worthwhile. See you soon." And then he leaves. And then the following day he comes back. For five and a half months this gentleman served and served and served, made a mighty difference in this little boy's life. On August 26th, he picks me up in a Lincoln Town car. We go downtown together. That's me on the left.

(00:51:19):

Then we go upstairs after meeting all the Cardinal players, and we broadcast the ball game. I don't know what your dream was. I got a big old microphone in front of me. And then he says this, he begins the national broadcast. "It's John O'Leary Day at the ballpark. The New York Mets are in town. Kid, are you having fun?" So this is the coming out party. This is when I knew maybe one day I could speak at a big conference like this. So on national radio, I began the broadcast with this response. And if you missed it at the back, we'll do it again. Because I'm 10 and I'm introverted. You can't change that. I have no confidence. I might slowly grow in time. I don't like public speaking, not even in front of one. I hate my scars. I hate my hands. I hate stares. Anybody ever get those stares, when you're different than others and they stare at you? I hate that.

(00:52:34):

But tonight, man, one moment in time, I'm loving my life. He sees a little boy with everything in the world plus one wrong with him. And if that's the focus you want to have for life and work and culture, have at it. You will have many people joining you in that song. Alternatively, it is to see what is wrong and then to do something about it. What Jack does is he takes it home, he cries, prays, journals on one question. The following day I get his answer, baseball. Sends me a baseball sign from a Cardinal player named Ozzie Smith. Below that ball was a note that read, "Kid, if you want a second baseball, write a thank you letter to the man who sent the first." Just one problem. What's the problem class? We don't even know how you're holding the clicky thing. Okay? And the piano trick was awesome.

(00:53:32):

I can't write. I know that about me. Viktor Frankl, who survives the Holocaust, wrote this, a book called Man's Search for Meaning. "When you know your why, you can endure anyhow." That is so good. Because right now, guys, ladies, friends, we need this one. When you know your why, you can endure all the stuff that you will have to put up with. But you got to know the why. And for me as a kid, it's baseball. With the help of two others, it wasn't I, it was we. We wrote this note, we mailed it off, and two days later we celebrated when the post office gentleman came by and gave us a second baseball with a note that read, "Kid, if you want a third." And we did. So my therapist over here and my therapist over here pushed my hands together. We broke through scar tissue. Sometimes you got to break through those bonds to become something new. We wrote this note, got a third ball, then we got a fourth baseball, then we got a fifth, and then we got a sixth, and then an 11th.

(00:54:42):

And then we got our 17th baseball, and our 23rd. And then we got our 38th. 1987, we got 60 baseballs. 60. Teaching... Teaching a little nobody that there's no such thing. I hope it's one of the lessons we're learning while we are together in New Orleans. Teaching a little nobody that your life is precious. It's a gift. He's not only telling me that it's a gift, but he's also challenging me to act like it. Pick up the pen. We wrote those notes. We then were able to go back to grade school. Grade school was followed by four years of high school. That was followed by nine years at university. Shockingly, you graduate man, and graduation night to the party comes an old friend.

(00:55:40):

The last time that I will ever see Jack Buck this of eternity is at graduation night. He shows up with a package and a note. What do you think the first word on the note was?

Audience (00:55:50):

Kid.

John O'Leary (00:55:51):

"Kid." I'm not sure he ever knew my first name was John. "Kid," the note read, "this means a lot to me. I hope it means a lot to you too. Enjoy. It's yours." And before I show you what he gave, first the question that led to the success and the significance. Those things aren't necessarily combined always, but they're also not mutually exclusive. Success and significance of his life. What more can I do? "This is the best baseball that I received when I went into the Hall of Fame. It is made of crystal. It is priceless. Don't drop it." And the final words he ever spoke to me were these, "It's yours." What a gift to take all of the talents and gifts that you've received and then to pass it on to the generations behind you and say, "Man, the best of what I've received, we made changes, and now it's yours. Do better. Out kick me."

(00:56:57):

That's what Jack gave many in our community. He taught us to believe. Which led to this picture. 20 years after that one was taken, we took this one. Four little kids, a puppy dog in the middle of every single picture always, and a question driving all six of our lives forward. So what more can I do? With about four minutes on the clock, we're going to take 21 seconds and just identify what it is that you want to take back with you, put into action with you in your organization, your community, and your family. For some of us, it's internally. It's changing how we show up. It's changing some of the negative thoughts we have about ourselves or life or possibility. Maybe it's waking up in the morning with the words, "Why me?" Dance in through the day with the arms uncrossed, say, "Man, who cares? Let's go make a difference together." Or finishing strong each evening with a question, "What more can I do?" Seven years ago there was a book that came onto the marketplace and it was called On Fire.

(00:58:23):

And when the publishers first came out with it, there was a picture of me on the front of it like this, looking very sophisticated at the future reader. So I said to the man, "Before you print that book, read it. Because it's not about me. It's about this incredible community that showed up and fought alongside of this little family." So when you see the book today, there's no picture of me on the front of it or the back of it. The letters that say On Fire are actually made out of a mirror-like material so that the reader sees themselves in it. Several years ago, a Hollywood producer read that and she said to me, "Have you ever thought about turning that book into a movie?" And I said, "Not once." And she said, "I'd like to." So for the last seven years they've been working on turning On Fire into a movie. The first thing they had to do was cast it, of course. They had to find for this little boy, an extraordinarily handsome child.

(00:59:21):

They were successful. His name is James McCracken. They had a cast for this person. Jack Buck will be portrayed by a gentleman you know as Frank, Bill Macy. William H. Macy is playing Jack Buck. And some of you're like, "Dude, that does not look like Jack Buck." You sure? But my favorite character is not Jack or John or his mom or his siblings. It's this guy. Anybody remember his name?

Audience (00:59:53):

Roy.

John O'Leary (00:59:54):

Roy. Big Roy. My hero, who I lost touch with. Still haven't seen him. But they had to cast him. So they cast him as a guy, some of you would know, others will not, but you should. His name is Devon Franklin, who is a mountain of a man. He's an incredible servant. He is so other oriented and so progressive in the way he views life. He's a champion. I love this man. He's become a brother of mine. And there's some sweet scenes, of course, in the movie, where this phenomenal leader is serving a child, and picking him up, and using the words, "Boy, you are going to walk again." And they take those walks, and five and a half months after they begin, they hug goodbye. And it ends there. Almost.

(01:00:44):

Seven years ago, I was speaking at a conference, and the gentleman in charge of the meeting pulled me back up on stage afterwards and he said, "Fella," and by the way, you see the signage in the background, if there's anyone from Worldwide Technology here, shout out to my party people on both sides. The gentleman in charge of the meeting says, "Whatever happened to that nurse?" And I said, "We lost touch. He moved down to Texas and I never saw him again." And he said, "What would he say to you?" Anybody remember what Roy would say? "Boy, finish it. You're going to walk again." What else? "I'll walk with you." Don't forget the final part. "I'll walk with you." So I said that into my microphone and the leader says back to me, "That is not what he would say. I bet you what he would say would sound more like this."

(01:01:37):

And then I hear a big old. And then I hear the voice of God and it says, "Boy, you are walking again. I am proud to walk with you." They pull back this curtain and they bring out Devon Franklin, AKA nurse freaking Roy. They paid a private investigator three weeks salary to find him. Dogg the Bounty Hunter would have had them in 24 minutes. And you're like, "Oh man, it's a cute little Hollywood story. Good for you, man. I love Superman movies and guys with tights and capes." Except this isn't Hollywood. It's real life. It's love, it's grace, it's mercy, it's leadership, it's acceptance, it's movement forward, it's doing life together.

(01:02:34):

And when we do that, it changes lives. So here's the final thing I'll say to you, then I'm dropping the mic. Roy and I had dinner together that night and he said to me three things, "John, it shocks me how beautiful your wife is." Which wasn't funny. He said, "It shocks me that you've done something with your life." And then the final thing he said is, "What surprises me the most is to learn, after 24 years, my work mattered." Our job, daily, is to remind the leaders that we get to serve alongside with, that indeed the work is worthy, that so are they. The foundation is indeed firm. And the best is yet to come. Thank you all for being here. God bless you. Have an awesome evening. Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:35):

Please welcome to the stage, Michael C. Bush, CEO of Great Place To Work.

Michael C. Bush (01:03:51):

One more time. You said it all. It was like going to church, except better, there was no collection. All right. So inspiration is what we need to change. And you just gave it to us. It's like, how do you do what you just did it. Thank you for the gift. I hope you feel what you delivered here. And what we have to do here is change the world, which means a lot of people have to change the way they're doing things. And your message to me is, starts with you and with guardian angels. We need them and we can be them. So thank you very much. All right. [inaudible 01:04:39].

John O'Leary (01:04:39):

Bless you.